thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
