Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she was so not down for the gang bang
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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