she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
