Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
