I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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