you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
True strength comes from lack of pants
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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