at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
