I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
