i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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