I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
