How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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