I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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