we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
