I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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