My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
