Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
