This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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