What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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