erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The air was thick with penises
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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