your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
