ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
