I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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