i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
