how hairy? two words: wookie tits
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
