you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
