Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
