i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
