I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
