I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
