i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize