I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
