: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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