Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
