If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
