got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize