Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
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