dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
