If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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