Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
