So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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