That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
