Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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