I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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