i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
