R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
