just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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