Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
