I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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