So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize