So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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