There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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