Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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