I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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