im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
