Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
