these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
