He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
