Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
