in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
