i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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