Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
