Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
