it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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