i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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