shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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