you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
