Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No subtext here. People are naked.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
