You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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